it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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