quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
