She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
