I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
