Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
someone owes me an orgasm
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
