So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize