he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
