College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
