Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize