But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
