My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
