i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
