I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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