its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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