OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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