mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
