Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
we're so committed to being not committed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
