At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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