Screwed.edu
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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