trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
