I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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