I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
