During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
