2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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