speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
ok first of all what the fuck
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
