went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
