So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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