I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
