His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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