I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
