No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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