no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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