My room smells like vodka and shame
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
