Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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