porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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