Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
