Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Blood and glitter go together right?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
