Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
