it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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