She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
