Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
