Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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