If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
