ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Is it penis luge time yet?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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