You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i think im in europe. pls send help
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
