just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
