put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
