Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We're using joints as your birthday candles
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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