I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
