So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
