sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
