Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
