ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize