So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize