Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
