I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
