Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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