Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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