two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
