My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
