I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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