sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
