Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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