Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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