Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
