I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
