if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
