Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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