one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
