no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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