Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
