She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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