What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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