You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
