I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
