I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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